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Giving it to God

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20130215

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Giving it to God




I laid on my hands and knees and laid next to my bed. The pain I was feeling was unbelievable, I was hurting to much. My heart was breaking. I wanted to be a wife and mother more then anything in the world. Here I was, 13 almost 14, and no guy. My last guy didn't work out, he gave me up after 6 years of "liking" me "Oh God, i'm tired of being rejected. please Lord, I beg you, bring my man soon, but keep my eyes on you Lord." I cried out. That was a week ago, for awhile I did keep my eyes on him, i didn't think about boys, all i did was pray for my future husband and talk to God. Till I watched one of my favorite movies, i watched fireproof with my family. I loved the romance at the end. I wanted a man as wonderful as the christian Caleb Holt. That night, as i got ready for bed, my thoughts were nagging at me. "You don't deserve a man like that, you are ugly, no man wants you." I could hear the whispers. I felt tears on my flushed cheeks. I dashed to my sister's room. "Othie?" I called out her nickname i had made for her. "Mary? Whats wrong?" She asked. "Oh Ruth," I said with my tears flowing down my face. "I was doing so well, i was focusing on God, not thinking about boys, till now." My sister looked at me, she saw my pain. My sister and I were so alike, we could almost be twins if not the 9 year age gape between us. "Guys are just jerks at your age, i know you mary, your amazing and have so many things any man would want in a wife." "Like what?" I asked with a sniffle. She laughed. "I knew you would ask me that. Mary, your beautiful, kind, you comfort people, you have a beautiful singing voice, along with a gift for piano, and you adore kids, and you follow Jesus. Every real man wants that" Her words gave me comfort. Even if i had made mistakes, God surely gave an epic sister.

What was the main point of all that? Well, I gave it up to God, he can give me a guy if he so desires. Do i still think of starving myself? Sometimes, Do I still cry myself to sleep? You bet. But I have Jesus carrying me all the way, helping me grow. So, if you are doubting God for something, give it to him. Let him dry your tears away, let him show you the light and healing.
I'm not perfect, even now i feel hurt from all the rejections i've dealt with, but God is still here, he still whispers, "I love you" or "I made you beautiful" and that, my friends, is so much fulfilling. thanks for reading this. Hope it helped if you are struggling.
Love,
The dreamer of dreams


"Girl, you are beautiful! So smile! Because someone might be falling in love with it!" <3
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Maria
Maria
Maria

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Join date : 2012-11-01
Location : A place where dreams do come true

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Giving it to God :: Comments

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Post on 15th February 2013, 10:24 pm by Sko

I can relate to how you're feeling. I'm sure it will all work out in the end. At the very least, God will do as he wills. Everything matters, maybe this time is preparing you for something big later.

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Post on 15th February 2013, 10:25 pm by Maria

I wonder what it will be, what he's preparing me for i mean,

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Post on 15th February 2013, 10:26 pm by Sko

Maria wrote:I wonder what it will be, what he's preparing me for i mean,

Well, you'll know when it's time. Of course, I'm merely speculating, I have even less of an idea of what's going to happen next than you do.

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Post on 15th February 2013, 10:27 pm by Maria

yeah, maybe he's preparing my heart for my future guy

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Post on 15th February 2013, 10:27 pm by underseasie

Very good, Mary, I glad you're doing better. Very Happy Though a bit of advice, maybe you should try to avoid romance novels and movies. I know how much you love them, but if this is how they make you feel, then I think a break from them would do you wonders. You should try reading books like The Ark, The Reed and the Fire Cloud I think you'd like it!

Last edited by underseasie on 16th February 2013, 7:13 pm; edited 1 time in total

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Post on 15th February 2013, 10:28 pm by Maria

Thanks Rosey! I know I'll still have tough times ahead, but God's got his hand on this!

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Post on 16th February 2013, 2:41 pm by Thor's Hammer

Yeah I think you should avoid romance novels etc. they make me feel awful

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Post on 16th February 2013, 5:44 pm by Maria

Oh dont worry, now i'm alright, cuz i know God is writing my love story, Very Happy

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